Dear Diary: Why do world leaders always choose breakfast time to call me? Today, as I munched my wholwheat Cheerios, my iPresidentophone burst into a baritone chorus from Song of the Volga Boatmen by the Red Army choir. "Good morning, Vladimir!" I said cheerily, for it is his ring-tone. "Good morning, Kenyan," said Putin, " I have urgent business to discuss: A missile has downed a Malaysian Airlines flight over Ukraine"
"I thought their plane crashed somewhere in the Indian Ocean," I replied.
"Idiot, that was a different plane." I must have misheard, because even Vlad isn't impolite to my face, or-- in this case-- my ear. I needed to get him to hang up quick, as I needed urgently to revise a speech I was due to make a few hours later in Delaware. " OK, Vlad ," I said. "Thanks for the heads-up, but I'm busy-busy...running the world. You know how it is."
As I rode to Delaware in back of The Beast, I added a new opening to my speech. "Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims at this difficult time." Original and heart-warming, if I may say so, and I may, so I'm saying so. Then I will return to the one-liners and the "it's great to be in Delaware" routine. But enough about me.
"I thought their plane crashed somewhere in the Indian Ocean," I replied.
"Idiot, that was a different plane." I must have misheard, because even Vlad isn't impolite to my face, or-- in this case-- my ear. I needed to get him to hang up quick, as I needed urgently to revise a speech I was due to make a few hours later in Delaware. " OK, Vlad ," I said. "Thanks for the heads-up, but I'm busy-busy...running the world. You know how it is."
As I rode to Delaware in back of The Beast, I added a new opening to my speech. "Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims at this difficult time." Original and heart-warming, if I may say so, and I may, so I'm saying so. Then I will return to the one-liners and the "it's great to be in Delaware" routine. But enough about me.
