Dear Diary: I was pouring almond milk on my Froot Loops this morning when my iPresidentophone burst into Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy (Michelle disapproves of this ringtone because she thinks that it encourages obese children to eat more sugar) "Vlad," I said, for it was he, "Wassup?"
"Obamavich," he said angrily, "I want you to rein in that idiot Kerry before he starts a serious conflict. We are engaged in major war games on the Ukraine border. That's what you call a hint --намек in Russian.
Emboldened by Dr. Rink's hypnotherapy. I declared: "Piss off, Pootin."
Putin fell silent for a moment, then said:"Before you provoke me further, Obamavich, check with Defense Secretary Hagel for details about our warship that has just docked in Cuba and the fighters we have scrambled on the Ukraine border."
Oops... But enough about me.
"Obamavich," he said angrily, "I want you to rein in that idiot Kerry before he starts a serious conflict. We are engaged in major war games on the Ukraine border. That's what you call a hint --намек in Russian.
Emboldened by Dr. Rink's hypnotherapy. I declared: "Piss off, Pootin."
Putin fell silent for a moment, then said:"Before you provoke me further, Obamavich, check with Defense Secretary Hagel for details about our warship that has just docked in Cuba and the fighters we have scrambled on the Ukraine border."
Oops... But enough about me.
