3/31/13

Cartoon: Aftermath


O-Care driving good doctors to quit

Last week, politicians who helped craft the Affordable Care Act  celebrated the third anniversary of that monstrosity which will soon extinguish health care as we've known it. The president's promises about the ACA saving money and allowing you to keep your existing health plan are proving false, as many predicted.  The 2013 Deloitte Survey of more than 600 doctors found that "Six in 10 physicians (62 percent) said it is likely many of their colleagues will retire earlier than planned in the next one to three years Read it all
[Thanks BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary: Booed

Dear Diary: I went the Elite 8 game in DC and when I was shown on the Jumbotron there were loud boos from many in the crowd.  I am so indignant that I am almost beside myself with rage. Curious expression is it not?  "Beside yourself", I mean. When I am beside myself, my indignation quickly turns to admiration as  I find myself  next to a brilliant, handsome, witty man. Where was I? Oh, yes the booing. Who are these  scum upon whom I have lavished, Obamacare, foodstamps and the threat of war from a tinpot dictator whom we could wipe out faster than I can say Jung-un. There can be only Un. That's funny,  though I say so myself and I do. But enough about me.

Game crowd booed Obama

Nearly half of the crowd at Saturday's Elite 8 game between Syracuse and Marquette at the Verizon Center in Washington, D.C. booed President Barack Obama when he was shown on the big screen with just over ten minutes to play in the first half. More

Joke of the Day

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.
The HR Manager said: "Mujibar, You have passed all the tests, except one.
Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job."
Mujibar said: "I am ready."
The manager said: "Make a sentence using the words
Yellow, Pink, and Green."
Mujibar replied: "The telephone goes green, green,
And I pink it up, and say:
Yellow, this is Mujibar."
Mujibar now works at a call center.
No doubt you have spoken to to him.

Cartoon: Nate Beeler


[The Columbus Dispatch]

3/29/13

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Barack Obama's Diary: Good Friday

Dear Diary:  It is curious how often history resonates with my life. It must be due my own unique historical significance. Take today,  known as Good Friday.  For me it has indeed it has been a Good Friday, as I spent it in Florida, currently epicenter of the world of basketball.  The only thing that has made my Good Friday bad is Liz Cheney saying: "preventing this president from enacting devastating policies is not obstructionism. It is patriotism." Has the woman no awareness of the giant that I am, a veritable  Colossus bestriding the centuries?  Obviously not. No matter. I am back in the White House now, my precious blankie Boo-boo tucked under my pillow, ready for me to rub his satin edge against my cheek as I drift off to sleep sucking my thumb...um...num..num...zzzzz.

Planned Parenthood OKs 'post birth abortion'

Florida legislators considering a bill to require abortionists to provide medical care to an infant who survives an abortion were shocked during a committee hearing this week when a Planned Parenthood official endorsed a right to post-birth abortion. Alisa LaPolt Snow, the lobbyist representing the Florida Alliance of Planned Parenthood Affiliates, testified that her organization believes the decision to kill an infant who survives a failed abortion should be left up to the woman seeking an abortion and her abortion doctor.

Obama's daughters report censored

A local news affiliate in Idaho reported that the first daughters, Sasha and Malia Obama, are on a Spring Break ski trip in Sun Valley, Idaho. The story quickly spread across the Internet when picked up by the highly-trafficked Drudge Report website.  But hours later, the story disappeared from the KMVT website without an update or correction. More

Techno Joe

"So this is a smart-phone. Amazing"

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...


The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards the vice principal of a Massachusetts middle school who saw a student trying to cut her fruit for lunch with a butter knife because she has braces and can’t take bites out of whole fruit.  The vice principal was walking by when he reportedly saw the student with the butter knife, took her to his office, and issued her a suspension.

Joke of the Day

A salesman stopped at a local bar for a cold one, and sat down between two older weather-beaten cowboys. On TV, a media celebrity was fawning over 0bamacare. The salesman said to the cowboy on his right, "Man, that 0bama is a real horse's ass!"
The cowboy stood up and knocked him off his bar-stool and walked out.
The salesman got up, dusted of the sawdust, sat back down and after a few moments silence turned to the cowboy on his left and said, "Man, I 'm telling you, that 0bama is a real horse's ass!"
That cowboy got up, knocked the salesman off his stool onto the floor and also walked out.
The salesman finished his beer and asked the bartender, "Whats the matter with those two cowboys? Is this 0bama country?"  The bartender said: "Nope. Horse country."
[From: Hope n' change cartoons]

3/28/13

Americans fleeing to freer conservative states

Americans are migrating from less-free liberal states to more-free conservative states, where they are doing better economically, according to a new study published Thursday by the George Mason University's Mercatus Center, reports John Merline of Investor's Business Daily.
 The "Freedom in the 50 States" study measured economic and personal freedom using a wide range of criteria, including tax rates, government spending and debt, regulatory burdens, and state laws covering land use, union organizing, gun control, education choice and more.
 It found that the freest states tended to be conservative "red" states, while the least free were liberal "blue" states.  Read more:   
[Thanks: ECS]

Cartoon: Alastair Graham

"You have a gay marriage? I have a sad marriage"

Barack Obama's Diary: Common-sense

Dear Diary: I am a great supporter of common-sense. Happily, common-sense always seems to agree with me. Late this morning, I spoke at a White House event cunningly titled:  "Mothers who are urging Congress to take action on common-sense measures to protect children from gun violence." Disagreeing with that is tantamount to declaring you have no common-sense yourself.
After that I met the leaders of four African nations: Sierra Leone, Senegal, Malawi and Cape Verde. I always feel rather uncomfortable among African Africans in Africa, which means being part of the majority rather than a minority. I asked the President of Cape Verde about Nelson Mandela's health. Awkwaard. It turns out that Cape Verde is not the  Cape at the southern tip of South Africa, but a group of islands in the Atlantic about 500 miles off the west African coast [in other words, dudes, the middle of nowhere where nobody with common-sense would live, so I didn't linger with him.] But enough about me.

Million Muslim march planned for 9/11

 This should be warmly received by the average American: AMPAC (American Political Action Committee) is planning an event for 9.11.13 where one million Muslims will march to Washington D.C. and demand that their "civil rights be protected by our government. We are demanding that laws be enacted protecting our 1st amendment [rights]. We are asking President Obama to fulfill his promise from his first campaign for Presidency of a transparent government. Lastly we are asking for the release of the 9/11 commission report to the American people." More

Cartoon: Cameron Cardow

[The Ottawa Citizen]

3/27/13

Dumb Slebs: Unbieberable

Justin Bieber allegedly threatened to kill his neighbor after spitting in his face during an altercation.  The 19-year-old is said to have become aggressive when he was asked to tone down his erratic driving because it was disturbing other residents.  Read more: 

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

What is real courage?

$876,000 to study snail sex

While the People's House remains  closed to the People, due to sequester cut-backs, the National Science Foundation has awarded a grant for $876,752 to the University of Iowa to study whether there is any benefit to sex among New Zealand mud snails. More.

Duh of the Day...

A man is facing several charges, after wildlife officials say he went deer hunting in a Walmart parking lot. The Pennsylvania Game Commission says 40-year-old Arcangelo Bianco Jr., fired several rounds from a handgun at a 10-point white-tailed deer from within the Burrell Township store’s parking lot, and then bagged the animal near Old William Penn Highway. More

Barack Obama's Diary: Decisions, decisions

Dear Diary:  I am troubled by a new poll that declares that sixty-four percent of Americans say they would support a military attack on Iran to prevent the country from developing nuclear weapons,  against only 25 percent who would oppose such an attack . Yikes. If Mossad or the CIA come up with definitive evidence I might have to make a decision.  What If I abide by the advice of the CIA and the Pentagon and  history proves us wrong? I enjoy the role of Commander-in-Chief and deliver a mean speech. Decisions are best left to people like George W. Bush. But enough about me.

Leftoid nightmare: wind turbine kills golden eagle

A golden eagle has been killed by a wind turbine in Nevada --enough to get any good leftoid  waking up in a panicked sweat of confused emotions. 

3/26/13

Cartoon: Alastair Graham


"If Alabama kids may not say Easter.
Can California kids call it  Wester?"

Cartoon: Chip Bok

Cartoon: Bob Englehart

[The Hartford Courant]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Barack Obama's Diary: Me, myself and moi

Dear Diary:  I get exasperated when people criticize me for being a narcissist or obsessed with myself. I often refer to myself but that is because I am leader of the free world. Consider my Passover message after which people complained that I used the word "I" seven times in 250 words. What have I done wrong? My message came from me, after all. I'm not blaming myself for that. I am not an egoist, nor am I egocentric, nor am I self-obsessed. I am lucky that among  the many  gifts I have had bestowed upon me is awareness of my many talents. It would be false modesty for me to conceal them. Even I sometimes tire of the subject of me. But It can take a long time for me  to reach that state. Like now. But enough about me.

Narcissist-in-Chief strikes again

The Narcissist-in-Chief strikes again: Every 36 words Obama uses the first-person pronoun “I” in this short 256 word statement marking Passover.


Dumb Slebs: Jim Carrey

After making news for doing a tired “humor” video mocking gun owners, whom he also called “heartless mother*uckers,” Jim  Carrey announced today on Twitter that his armed bodyguard “doesn’t have a hundred rounds in his clip.” Watch your back, Jim.

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards the principal of an  Alabama elementary school where kids get to hunt for eggs – but they can’t call them ‘Easter Eggs’ because the principal banished the word for the sake of religious diversity.
“We had in the past a parent question us about some of the things we do here at school,” said Heritage Elementary School principal Lydia Davenport. “So we’re just trying to make sure we respect and honor everybody’s differences.” Read more:
[Thanks ECS]

3/25/13

Cartoon: Alastair Graham

"Syria: Civil war, chemical agents, arms arriving from Iran. What could possibly go wrong?"

Barack Obama's Diary: To hava, or to hava not

Dear Diary:  We hosted guests for Passover seder this evening, I immediately regretted inviting Joe  who regaled us with tales of meeting the Pope. I tried to distract our guests with a rousing rendition of Hava Nagila.  But, no sooner had I loudly uttered the word "Hava" when an aide whispered urgently to me, "Wrong occasion, Sir". Awkwaard. I had forgotten that seders are not a celebration but about Exodus, the Jews leaving Egypt.  I  have been to Egypt several times, but no-one gives me credit for leaving. But enough about me. Syria has a murderous dictator, backed by Iran and Russia, with chemical weapons at his disposal, fighting against a domestic insurgency that includes radical Islamists.  No worries: Bibi will sort it out, like he always does.

Liberal ants

[From: The Looking Spoon]

Last ditch talks save Cyprus

Last minute negotiation early Monday saved the European island nation from going bankrupt, but Cyprus bank depositors will lose all deposits over 100,000 Euros, effectively an act of outright theft. More here.

3/24/13

Joe confesses


I know the Pope wears a long dress
Joe, but you invited him to dance?

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Why Earth Hour is a global farce

"Earth Hour shows how far we have come from celebrating human accomplishment to celebrating the lack of accomplishment as an accomplishment. For all the pretense of activism, environmentalism celebrates inaction. Don't build, don't create and don't do-- are its mandates. Turn off the lights and feel good about how much you aren't doing right now.  Environmentalism has degenerated into a conviction that all human activity is destructive because the species of man is the greatest threat to the planet and all life on it"....Read it all.

3/23/13

The joys of choice

America's incredible, exploding disability-industrial complex

In the past few decades, an entire disability-industrial complex has emerged. It has just one goal: Push more people onto disability. And, sometimes, it seems like the government is outmatched. This is especially true in the legal system, NPR reports.  Daytime TV in many places is full of ads from lawyers who promise to fight the government and win the disability benefits 'you deserve.'
There is one man who takes much of the credit for this industry: Charles Binder.  Most people who applied for disability were denied and never had a hearing. Binder, and the lawyers who followed him, changed that. "I've created some of the problems for the government because so many people appeal," Binder says.
When he started in 1979, Binder represented fewer than 50 clients. Last year, his firm represented 30,000 people. Last year, Binder and Binder made $68.7 million in fees for disability cases. Full report here. [Thanks: BJS]

Dear Cabby...

Dear Cabby:  I am in an embarrassing position. I have run up tabs of around a million bucks for two nights at hotels in London and Paris. I had hoped no-one would notice but nooo... it's all over the  Internet and my boss who is trying to create the impression that we are saving as much money as possible, is on his way back from the Middle East and will be really pissed when he hears about it. What shall I do?  Joe B. Wilmington, DE.

Dear Joe: You're kidding me, right? Half a million a night? Buddy, your boss is going to put you  in chains when he hears about this. Why can't you stay at an ordinary hotel. They gotta Holiday Inn in Piccadilly for about $200 a night. I stayed there with my wife Connie on our honeymoon. A million bucks for two nights? You could rent goddam Buckingham Palace for that with  free breakfast. Meantime, Why not cut back on other travel.  I read in the Post that you fly to Delaware every weekend. Fuggedaboudit! Take the goddam train, Joe. You gotta problem widdat? -- Cabby

Barack Obama's Diary: Heading Home

Dear Diary: Hava nagila, hava  nagila... I am singing the song of Jewish celebration that I learned so conscientiously but have not had an occasion to show off on this Middle East visit. My reason for celebration is that I am at last flying home. I am tucked up in my bed on board Air Force One, rubbing my blankie Boo-Boo against my cheek mmmmm...mmmm...num num...nite, nite Boo-boo. Marvin Nicholson my trip director has turned on my DVR with an episode of Storage Wars to watch as I drift off to sleep. mmmm...mmm...zzzzzz...

Barack Obama's Diary: Stoned in Jordan

Dear Diary:  I have spent today in Jordan as the guest of King Abdullah. I found the city of Petra fascinating. It's carved from stone, somewhat like Mount Rushmore except, instead of faces of presidents, Petra is  a secret town carved into orange-brown sandstone.  As I walked through it I found myself wondering if there is enough room on Mount Rushmore for one more face. Some people have rightly suggested that I deserve to be represented there, but they cruelly questioned if there was enough rock-face left to accommodate my ears.  All the official handshaking had made me nervous. When everybody was looking upwards at the carved doors and windows, I took a quick squirt of Purrell sanitizer from Marvin Nicholson's pocket and rubbed it over my fingers. I'm not good at shaking hands with strangers, particularly Arabs --whose ablution rituals I don't fully understand. Soon I will re-board Air Force One and be safely on my way home, back to the comforts of DC and the White House kitchen. Sob! I even miss Michelle's broccoli. But enough about me...

3/22/13

Cartoon: Michael Ramirez

[Investors Business Daily]

Malkin trumps Donald

Donald Trump has gotten himself into a Twitter feud with Michelle Malkin. Bad move, Donald: never mess with Malkin. Readers grab some popcorn and head here.  

Biden's million dollar hotel tab

Vice President Joe Biden's trip to Europe last month led to a tab of over $1 million for hotels for himself, staff and security for two nights in London and Paris, government documents show.
One contract was awarded to the Hyatt Regency London for a total of $459,338.65 while another went to the Hotel Intercontinental Paris Le Grand for $585,000.50   Details here.
[Thanks ECS]

Cartoon: A.F.Branco

Barack Obama's Diary: O Ramallah...

Dear Diary: I think I may  once again have snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. I have found the solution to Israeli/Palestinian conflict by comparing it to relations between Canada and America. We may have small differences like the pronunciation of "about"....or  "aboot" and who makes the best beer. But we manage  to disagree without us  firing rockets at  the Canucks and them tying to blow us  up with suicide bombers. I  suggested a new national anthem to Mahmoud Abbas:  O Ramalla... Pure genius, if I may say so myself, and I may. Tonight I look forward to boarding Air Force One, where  my trip director Marvin Nicholson [himself a Canuck] will have laid out my blue jammies and my blankie Boo-Boo ready for me to rub my blankey's  satin edging against my cheek as I fall asleep in my personal bedroom, listening to my inspiring speeches on my iPod, with noise-cancelling earphones silencing most of the roar of the four Pratt & Whitneys outside.  If I can't sleep or wake early, Marv has installed a DVR with several episodes of Storage Wars on it, so I can keep up with Barry Weiss's crazy exploits. Marv is very considerate and always has a bottle of Purrell hand sanitizer in a jacket pocket so I can take a quick squirt after shaking hands with unsavory characters of which there are many in this part of the world..

The Dung Beetle award goes to...


The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award  is being rolled towards the Massachusetts principal who has cancelled his school's Honors Night, saying it could be 'devastating' to the students who worked hard, but fell short of the grades. More here.
[Thanks BJS, ECS]

3/21/13

Barack Obama's Diary: Meeting Abbas

Dear Diary: This has been an interesting day. Bibi  took me to see the Dead Sea Scrolls.  As I looked at the ancient manuscripts, I had a vivid premonition of how one day this very diary,  a unique record authored by the most remarkable leader in US history, will one day be as valued as much as those scrolls, by the people of the United Soviet States of America. And my muscled, lean, body will be embalmed and put on display as a permanent record of physical perfection.
After the scrolls I was taken to Ramalla on Palestinian soil with John Kerry for a meeting with Mahmoud Abbas the content of which is for me to know and others to speculate about.  As we waited for the press to be rolled in to witness a pre-meeting photo op at the Muqata Presidential Compound there was an awkward silence which I filled by whistling Hava Nagila under my breath.  Abbas turned a curious shade of crimson.  Dudes, this part of the world is so confusing that I forgot it is a Jewish celebration song. Awkwaard.  John Kerry stepped up to the plate.: "Nice tie, Mr President," he said to Abbas, who appeared flustered and unsure how to handle  a compliment. I am staying at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem tonight.   I have my blankie Boo-boo with me and I will rub his satin edge along my cheek, as I suck my thumb and sleep the carefree sleep of the innocent with a posse of Secret servicemen on guard at various strategic points. But enough about me...

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Bibi and Bam make nice

[From Aftermath]

Ssssh! It's a Democrat scandal

As the scandal surrounding Senator Bob Menendez, D-N.J., grows into a steady drip, drip, drip of increasingly damaging stories for Senate Democrats (following an FBI raid of a top Democratic donor's offices), we learn that this sordid story extends far beyond the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.  In an extensively-reported story, Politico broke the news that the Democratic donor at the heart of the scandal, Dr. Salomon Melgen, also extensively courted other top Democrats, including President Obama and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev.,  who flew on Melgen's private jet at least once last year.  Melgen also donated $700,000 last year to Majority PAC, a Democratic Super PAC that ran TV ads in support of many Democratic Senate candidates in 2012.  The Democrat response to all this? Deafening silence. More here.

3/20/13

Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

Barack Obama's Diary: A puzzling day

Dear Diary:  I am retiring to bed after a busy, but puzzling day in Israel. Possibly I am being paranoid but, in the immortal words of Joe Biden there's no such thing as a coincidence.  First someone fuels The Beast with diesel instead of gasoline. Then a magnolia tree I brought with me for a ceremonial planting with President Perez was untimely ripped from the ground as soon as we had left the scene, because Israeli agricultural officials insisted on inspecting it for signs of disease. In truth, I almost admire their bureaucratic zeal, almost on a par with our FDA. Then Bibi Netanyahu had me to dinner and addressed the press afterwards saying that it was a pleasure to welcome me after having enjoyed my hospitality many times in Washington. I can never tell with Bibi  if he is being sarcastic. But enough about me.

Obama stimulus pays for duck penis study

The National Science Foundation (NSF) has awarded a $384,949 grant from the Obama's original  economic stimulus package  to Yale University for a study on “Sexual Conflict, Social Behavior and the Evolution of Waterfowl Genitalia” this includes investigation of the "plasticity of duck penis length".  More here.   [Thanks ECS]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Barack Obama's Diary: The mark of The Beast

Here I am in Tel Aviv after an overnight flight from DC aboard Taxpayer One. I like making my grand exit from the aircraft, through the forward door . First I wave  and grin at the adoring crowds and TV audiences then  I make an agile,  light-footed descent of the stairs, not touching sides, nor looking down,  thus projecting an image of limitless confidence. Meanwhile, my lackeys and aides disembark  through a rear door.
Bibi was waiting for me on the tarmac. He bared his teeth at me in an agonized semblance  of a smile. "Slalom", I said in the Hebrew, I had  practiced on a Rosetta Stone CD on my trip.  "I think you mean shalom," said BibiAwkwaard...
But worse was to come, dudes. My limo,  known as "The Beast" has been filled with the wrong fuel, so it won't start.   I'll Bush is to blame.  Fortunately there is another Beast waiting for me in Jordan and it is being flown here. But enough about me.

3/19/13

Cartoon: Cameron Cardow

[The Ottawa Citizen]

Barack Obama's Diary: Meeting Enda

Dear Diary: Bejabers and begorrah, I'm off to Capital Hill for a St Patrick's Day lunch with me old pal,  Taoiseach Kenny of Ireland. "Top of the mornin' to ya, Edna" I said. A State Department  aide tried to whisper something in my ear.  I waved the underling  away: "Don't interrupt," I admonished him.  "Can't you see I'm talking to Edna?" That's just it sir,"  he hissed. "It's Enda not Edna"  Awkwaard... I immediately burst into song  to distract Edna  Enda. "With a shillelagh  under me arm and a twinkle in me eye, I'll be off to Tipperary in the morning."  Enda was impressed.
 I'm flying to Tel Aviv tonight and I expect Bibi to be  similarly impressed with my rendition of "Hava nagila." But enough about me.

$2.7million to study lesbian drinking

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $2.7 million to study why lesbians are at a higher “risk for hazardous drinking.”  The University of Illinois has received grants since 2009 for its project, "Cumulative Stress and Hazardous Drinking in a Community of Adult Lesbians," which aims to develop “culturally sensitive” strategies to prevent lesbians from being drunks. Details here.

To Bibi, from Bam

[From Aftermath]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...


The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards officials from the same state that suspended a 7-year-old for turning his Pop Tart into a Pop Tart shaped like a gun, who have now introduced a ban on hugging.  Southern Maryland Newspapers Online reports on the new guidelines for visitors, parents and students for St. Mary’s County public elementary schools. Details here

Dumb Slebs: Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan agreed to spend 90 days in a "locked in" drug rehab facility as part of a plea deal to settle criminal charges against her. "A suggestion -- don't drive," Los Angeles Superior Judge James Dabney told her.

3/18/13

Cartoon: A.F.Branco

Why we're going to Hell in a handbasket?

Social media have been humming with talk about  the chilling similarity of Satan [actor Mehdi Ouzaani] in the hugely successful History Channel series The Bible and the current resident of the White House.  More here.
[Thanks ECS]


Obama wastes yet more money

President Obama in 2009 told federal agencies that no-bid contracts were “wasteful’’ and “inefficient.’’ Four years later, his administration spent more money on non-competitive contracts than ever before, according to The Washington Post.  Federal agencies awarded $115.2 billion in no-bid contracts in fiscal year 2012, an 8.9 increase from $105.8 billion from 2009, according to government data. The jump unfolded even as total contract spending decreased by about 5 percent. Lockheed Martin, Boeing and Raytheon were top recipients of sole-source contracts. More here
[Thanks BJS]

Cartoon: Daryl Cagle



[Cagle Cartoons]

Cartoon: Christopher Weyant


Euro bank heist roils markets

The decision by European leaders to solve a banking crisis in Cyprus by effectively stealing up to 10 percent of depositors' money, is having predictable results this morning, with shares crashing and a sharp rise the price of gold.  More here

Barack Obama's Diary: Oy Vey!

Dear Diary: I look forward to resuming my rightful place at the epicenter of daily news coverage. The past couple weeks have seen me relegated to virtual obscurity by the election of the Pope, by the Conservative Political Action Conference which included  the predictable harassment of Me by people such as that Palin woman and Rand Paul whose name sounds  like a drag queen.  Oy Vey! Meantime, I have been practicing Hebrew and various quaint Jewish customs in preparation for my visit  to Israel, l have been singing in the shower: Hava nagila, Hava nagila, Hava nagila, Ve'nismecha. Hava nagila, Hava nagila, Hava... Pretty good, huh?  That will warm Bibi's frosty heart when we meet for what Joe Biden told me is the traditional Israeli breakfast of bacon, pork sausage and shellfish washed down with a glass of milk. But enough about me...

3/17/13

Ben Carson for President?

Dr. Ben Carson, an emerging star in the conservative movement since his National Prayer Breakfast speech last month, has added to speculation that he might run for President, The Washington Post reports. Carson, a brilliant surgeon  and  head of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins, announced at the Conservative Political Action Conference that he would retire from his medical practice in the coming months and hinted at something else on the horizon. “I want to quit while I’m at the top of my game, and there are so many more things that could be done,” the 61-year old said as the crowd rose to its feet." Laughing Conservative joins heartily, if metaphorically, in the applause. Read more

3/16/13

Europe grabs $13 billion from bank depositors, freezes accounts

In what is effectively outright theft, Euro-area finance ministers have imposed an  unprecedented levy on Cyprus bank deposits as officials unveiled a 10 billion-euro ($13 billion) rescue plan for the country, the fifth since Europe’s debt crisis broke out in 2009. Cyprus will impose a levy of 6.75 percent on deposits of less than 100,000 euros --  and 9.9 percent above that. The measures will raise 5.8 billion euros, in addition to emergency loans, Dutch Finance Minister Jeroen Dijsselbloem, who leads the group of euro-area ministers, told reporters today after 10 hours of talks in Brussels. Can Spanish and Italian banks be far behind?  Details here.   and possible consequences here.

See Sarah knock it out the park


Obama: 'I am not a dictator'

Quote of the Day...

 “No budget for four years is government refusing to declare what it intends to do with the people’s money. Barack Obama promised the most transparent administration…
Barack Obama, you lie!” ---  Sarah Palin at the Conservative Political Action Conference.

Leftoid lunacy: Workers may get right to ransack workplace

Long vacations, short hours and endless workers' rights, have made France  notorious for being a tough place to do business. Now a law working its way through parliament would grant amnesty to workers who ransack  company premises or threaten bosses during a labor dispute. Read more  [Thanks BJS]

Dim Crims

A 9-year-old boy arrested and charged with armed robbery at a McDonald’s last month has been arrested again in connection with a carjacking after he and three others jumped from a stolen car police chased through  Chicago's Southeast Side.  He was in the car with two 15-year-olds and a 14-year-old  who were all charged with aggravated vehicular hijacking with a firearm. 

3/15/13

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Dumb Slebs: Alicia Silverstone

Actress Alicia Silverstone, like many Tinseltown celebs,  objects to generically-modified crops, which have made food cheaper and more plentiful. Today the Clueless actress urged her supporters to oppose a Senate measure that would make it harder for environmental groups to shut down GMO crops via bogus lawsuits. More

Obama administration now admits: We DID release thousands of illegals

After weeks of denials, the Obama administration has finally admitted releasing more than 2,000 illegal immigrants due to budget concerns. The administration had insisted that only a "few hundred" immigrants were released.  More here   [Thanks BJS]

3/14/13

Cartoon: Stilton Jarlsberg


Are you smarter than an FBI agent?

Here are 15 weird ways to invite surveillance by the FBI.  [For example, have you bought a length of pipe from Home Depot?]   More here.
[Thanks ECS]

CPAC Stands with Rand

This guy is a joy to listen to:


When bureaucracy crushes compassion

The 911 call between an emergency dispatcher and a nurse at a California retirement home is so chilling, so horrifying, I had to listen to it twice to make sure I had heard right -- it so defied the most basic tenets of compassion and human decency, writes Ana Veciana Suarez. On the tape, Bakersfield fire dispatcher Tracey Halvorson can be heard pleading with a caller from Glenwood Gardens Retirement Facility to perform CPR on an 87-year-old resident who had collapsed in the dining room. When the dispatcher asks if the woman is breathing, the nurse replies, "Barely."  The dispatcher tells the nurse to start CPR, but the nurse refuses. She says staff is not permitted to perform CPR at the facility. (I guess that's like saying, "Sorry, I can't stop to help the bleeding motorist by the road because the traffic sign on the shoulder says 'No Stopping or Standing.'")  Read more here.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Barack Obama's Diary: Speaking Frankly

Dear Diary:  I  must admit to being a little impatient at all the media attention that Pope Francis has been getting at the expense of my usual media dominance. But being  myself a magnanimous and modest man who eschews luxury especially on vacations, I appreciate his virtue of simplicity. I like to keep my relationships with other leaders informal and relaxed, so I sent him this message: "Dear Frank:  On behalf of the American people, Michelle and I send  warm good wishes to you and Mrs. Francis and may all your troubles be little ones. I see that there is a golf course at Pavone, near Castel Gandolfo. I look forward to playing a few rounds with you there. Meanwhile, I would appreciate it greatly if you could say some favorable words of support on my behalf to America's cardinals. Just tell them Bathhouse Barry sent you."

New Conservative TV station announced

A new right-wing news and talk station is coming to cable boxes later this year, according to The Daily Beast. The station, called One America News Network, is slated to announce its launch formally at the Conservative Political Action Conference, the annual gathering of conservatives, in Washington, D.C., Thursday.  Details here.

Chavez 'told Christ to choose Latino pope'

 Late Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez's influence may have stretched into the afterlife and had a hand in Christ's decision to opt for a Latin American Pope, acting President Nicolas Maduro claims, according to Reuters.
"We know that our commander ascended to the heights and is face-to-face with Christ," Maduro said at a Caracas book fair. "Something influenced the choice of a South American pope, someone new arrived at Christ's side and said to him: 'Well, it seems to us South America's time has come.'"
Laughing Conservative now awaits pennies from heaven to rain upon the slums of Caracas. More



Joke of the Day

A little lost Saudi Arabian kid, crying, can’t find his mother in a London  department store.
A sales clerk says: ‘What does your mother look like?’
The kid says: “I have no idea”

3/13/13

Barack Obama's Diary: Habemus papem

Dear Diary:  Habemus Papem! I  We have a pope [for those without the privilege of my extraordinary education] I watched the chimney for a while and when it belched  smoke I  had the irresistible vision of the whole conclave puffing on  choom. I have sent warm wishes to the new Pope from Michelle and I, which I am sure he will be delighted with.  However, this guy is on the record as being against gay marriage and abortion.  How awkward is that, dudes. But I am optimistic that with time, he withe will change his view. Even I was against gay marriage until I was for it. But enough about me.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]