6/28/12

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Nyaaa... nyaaa...Told you so.  Ye of little faith out there. Who's the greatest of them all? Ba-rack, Ba-rack! First I came  for your body.   After my inevitable landslide victory in November, I will come  for your  capitalist soul. Watch in wonder, flyovers,  as Barack The Mighty brings you the blessings of  collective  farming and -- for the inevitable Conservative dissidents -- exile to labor camps in the Alaskan tundra, there to repent of your wickedness,  chop wood, eat gruel and grow turnips.  That means you, Boehner.  Palin, you  can shoot moose for the inmates. Long live the revolution!
 I will admit  to a  brief moment of doubt when the ruling emerged. I had the cable news channels on multiple monitors and they all fumbled for a while. I was on pins and needles. Silly, me. Of course the overwhelming power of my reasoning defeated any attempts to deflect my will. Even Roberts bowed to my mighty intellect. Cup Holder had a difficult day and -- lacking my  supreme self confidence -- he fumbled his response to being held in contempt.  No  matter, we can fudge it until after November when I can be more flexible. Despite having Boo-boo my blankey, held close, last night I slept fitfully. Now I will say a prayer of thanks to myself, slide into the Presidentopedic and sleep the easy sleep of the glorious victor.  Yikes! is that Mitt I see before me, his  dagger pointed at my  breast. No, it's that damned Portuguese  waterdog  climbing onto the bed.  Where's my blankey, Boo-boo?  Barry luv Boo-boo... um-num-num-um...zzzzz...