4/25/12

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: A disappointment for my exalted self today. Advance reviews of  my sublimely witty appearance on Jimmy Fallon's show are less  than ecstatic.  I was superb, though I say so myself, and I do. I  showed  how I am able to run the free world, and slow-jam a campaign speech at the same time. What  more do they want? For me to do it on a motorcycle while juggling dog's heads chainsaws? 
[Note to self:  While I'm thinking of chainsaws, It's high time we ousted Debbie MiracleWhip-Shultz from the DNC. As fast as I recapture voters with late-night TV appearances, she's scaring them off  with her abrasive manner and mayonnaise-coated hair.]  Talking of scary women, Michelle has put down her vegetable-gardening book   and is  calling me to the Presidential bed. Time for my accustomed  brief prayer to myself. And so to bed, there to sleep and  surrender to the embrace of Boo-boo my blankey who's waiting under my pillow. Barry love Boo-boo, um-num-num-um