11/22/14

Barack Obama's Diary: Jubilations!

Dear Diary: Vegas has laid on a magnificent show for me: Dancing fountains, a volcano, a pirate ship, replicas of the Eiffel Tower, and of Venice....and that was just on the Strip. I had no idea that I was so loved and admired here. I must suggest a new casino called The Amnesty staffed entirely by Latinos. Ole Jose!

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[Columbus Daily Dispatch]

Joke of the Day

Eric Holder rushes into the Oval Office. “I’ve got shocking news to tell you,” he says. “Right behind the public library on Wesley Place, we found that ISIS has set up a headquarters in an abandoned building. We’ve found weapons, maps, computers, bombs—you name it. It’s a big operation right here in D.C., and it looks like they’re making plans.”
 Obama looks stunned. “Whoa,” he says. “That is a shock. I didn’t know we had a public library on Wesley Place.”   [ECS]

11/21/14

Barack Obama's Diary: Sauntering down the path to greatness

"Saunter!" I reminded myself as I approached the podium to address the nation on my historic amnesty. My saunter in not unlike John Wayne's, except I keep my arms hanging free to give an impression of complete relaxation. I radiate command: I am in control here, in the People's House. The aura I radiate is very similar to the air of authority that I embody when I disembark oh-so-casually from  Air Force One.

11/20/14

Cartoon: Rick McKee


[The Augusta Chronicle]

Obama 'boosted GOP as much as Reagan'

Last night on Special Report, George Will gave credit to the recent electoral success of the Republican party to someone who probably didn’t want to accept it: Barack Obama.
“Barack Obama once said that he wanted to be as consequential in his own way as Ronald Reagan was,” Will said. “Well, he is in this sense: He’s the greatest builder of the Republican party since Ronald Reagan.”
“Today, there are many fewer House Democrats, many fewer Democratic Senators, many fewer governors,” he continued. “The Republican party controls more state legislative chambers than at any time in its history.”

Lying through our teeth: Bam inflates Obamacare enrollees

 The Federal Government happily announced in September that ObamaCare enrollments were above seven million, meaning that a projection issued by the Congressional Budget Office last year had been met. Look now, however, and the figure is back below seven million, reports Bloomberg. Why? To get to the higher figure, the administration quietly changed the way it counted enrollments—instead of just those with medical coverage, it added in people with dental coverage. Previously, health care officials had reported the numbers separately, and the additional 380,000 dental subscribers put the total above the CBO's threshold. When Republican fact-checkers noticed the change, the Department of Health and Human Services backtracked and reverted to the lower number. Source.         [BJS]

11/19/14

Barack Obama's Diary: I rediscover Lost Vegas

Dear Diary: I have been a somewhat worried about the setting for signing my piece de resistance, the immigration amnesty. I directed Valerie Jarrett, with her unwaveringly astute judgment, to come up with a venue. She suggested the White House to wrap myself in authority of the Commander-in Chief, followed next day by the Lost Vegas school where I first addressed the question of immigration reform. Lost Vegas! Brilliant!  Almost no other city in the USA is more dependent on skilled Latino workers, who are thus disincentivized from causing trouble  or even from celebraing too exuberantly. Even vacationing US citizens are too intent on feeding the slots to take much interest in political stuff. There will be little for news cameras to zoom in on except the hopeful faces of high school kids. Yet again, I amaze even myself with my ingenuity and political genius!

Mia Love rebukes 'dictator' Obama over amnesty


11/17/14

Word of the Day...


Bam's arrogance 'appalls' our military

Military officials are appalled at the "willful incompetence" of the administration of President Barack Obama and its interference in the campaign against the Islamic State (ISIS), according to Lt. Col. Ralph Peters.
"We've a president so arrogant, an administration so arrogant, they think they know how to run military tactical affairs, not just strategic, but tactical affairs, better than military professionals.
"Everyone is appalled at the incompetence, the willful incompetence of this White House," Peters, a retired Army Lt. Col., told Fox News' "America's Newsroom" on Monday.

11/16/14

Diary of Fauxcahontas: Me run in 2016?

Dear Diary: Rumor has it that my impeccable progressive credentials have led some Democrats to conclude that I should to enter the 2016 race for the White House. Of course my native American roots do give  me  unique cultural insights. "White men speak with forked tongue," the wise elders nod in agreement, as they  gather in their tepee to hold a pow-wow, smoking the pipe of peace, their silence punctuated by an occasional brief hiss, as a gobbet of tobacco-laced sputum is expertly squirted into the heart of the blazing campfire.













































































































































































































































Global warming: new evidence

Cold temperatures and snow across the Great Lakes in November is certainly nothing out of the ordinary, but this morning, a layer of ice was visible on parts of Lake Superior in Ashland, Wis.
While this may not seem unusual given the current stretch of unseasonably cold temperatures, it is actually several weeks earlier than normal.
The first sightings of ice on Lake Superior and the Great Lakes overall usually occur during the beginning to middle of December. However, a perfect combination of last season's record ice coverage, cooler summer temperatures, and an early blast of arctic air this fall has allowed for areas of ice to form earlier than normal for the second year in a row. [BJS]

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

11/15/14

Vlad Putin's Diary:Is it time for a dramatic exit?

Dear Diary: It is looking increasingly likely that I will have to storm out of the  the G20 meeting in an orchestrated fury.  David Cameron, the British Prime Minister, has made several impudent demands of me over Ukraine  and even Angular Merkel of Germany has been pressuring me.  Worse, my carefully-crafted prank against Obamavitch has been foiled.  I had planned to invite him to bathe in the sea with me, so I could rip his swim shorts off and he would be stranded  beyond the reach of his aide Marv Nicholson who normally intervenes with a towel. Now that would have been a photo-op.  Alas, his Secret Service detail are hypersensitive after recent screw-ups and decided there were too many Aussie perils, like box jelly-fish,  stone fish and sea-snakes  for them to guarantee his safety, so he declined my invitation. Curses!